HOKAY so...

Although I've had the time to write since finishing my applications, I've been negligent. It's easy for me to blame the completely different format of OkCupid or the recent apartment addiction to Super Smash Brothers, but I've really just been a slacker. I'm sorry. Forgive me? I hope you do.

I came back after a long period of being MIA to a rather formidable number of messages in my inbox(es) and I have no idea how long it will take me to get to them all. I'm actually quite surprised how many people wrote me during my absence. It's nice to be back.

What has struck me as noteworthy, however, is the quantity of messages I've received asking for my advice. Girl woes? Why isn't OKC working for me? Where is a good place for a first date near the Verizon Center!?! These are just examples. Now that I actually have time to get to all these questions, I want to invite anyone reading this blog to send questions my way. I've been in the WashDC region for a while now, and yes, I do know something about how chicks work.

Post your question in the comments or send it to me via email. I'll post (anonymously) questions that I think might be of interest to the general public. Is my advice helpful? Good readers, please be the judge!

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ATTN: STALKERS, MESSAGERS, POKERS"WOO"ERS

Good evening all!

I just got home from the office, poured myself a glass of CabSav, and felt inspired to write a new post. Specifically, in response to the 100+ messages/woos/etc. I've received over the past... week. I'm new to this online dating thing so I'm a little bit overwhelmed. Not to mention I'm disoriented by the fact that the okcupid inbox isn't more Gmail-like. I need labels! Or at least some way to flag a message for follow-up. Geez.

Anyway, contrary to the way it might have seemed in prior posts, most of my experience with this site has been positive. People are very sweet and often very witty. There are a TON of messages that I haven't had a chance to respond to (but intend to/want to) so please don't take my silence as a slight. In the mean time, I have a couple of requests for everyone who has tried/wants to exchange some messages with me.

1. Put it in an email

I created a special new email for this purpose -- thedionysienne@gmail.com. Have something to say other than "sup sexi"? Put a link to your okcupid profile in the message and I'll check out your profile.

2. Attach some pictures to that email

I can completely understand the hesitance to post high-resolution face/body shots on the interwebs. It's just plain weird. But if you'd like to move beyond "admiring from afar", I really need to see more photos of you. Not that I'm particularly superficial, it's just hard to make out what's going on in that grainy night-vision-looking jpeg. And for goodness sake, PLEASE no nude photos. Thanks.

3. "Woo"s are weird. Take another route.

If this emailing business is simply too much, then at least send me a message. Or... just call it a day.

That's all for now...

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The Importance of (Not) Being “Irrelevant”

First of all, I can’t get enough of the “Improve Matches” questions! Instead of having to document my opinions on sex, religion, and other hotly contested issues, I can just pseudo-anonymously choose a radio button and BLAM! I’m matched up. Plus, some of the questions are so ridiculous that amusement is only a click away.

Today I’ve been rather useless. Recovering from last night if you will. So I started to get into the questions. In fact, I even navigated to the explanation of matching! Boy was THAT an eye opener. I have totally been approaching these questions the wrong way. I thought that when I marked one “Irrelevant”, I was essentially saying that all answers are acceptable, and that it’s not important to me if anther person has a view different from mine. WRONG.

The way the system works is each “Level of Importance” is assigned a “Point Value”. That value is used to generate a percentage satisfaction for each person who answered the question. Then, the two percentages are multiplied and the square-root of the product yields the match percentage. So what does that mean for my “Irrelevant” answers? A big fat zero in the match. Whoops.

Furthermore, on the topic of questions, MAN there are a lot of absolutists among us! With knowledge of the true significance of “Irrelevant” in mind, I hesitate when facing a question I perceive as too black and white. I.e.: Would you date an atheist? (Yes/No)

My answer would be “Yes”. However, since I’m not an atheist, it doesn’t matter to me how everyone else responds. If they choose “yes”, cool beans. Maybe they’re an atheist themselves or just simply open-minded about religion. If they choose “No”, also fine. I’m not an atheist and I respect the beliefs of others. A similar topic is smoking. I’m not a smoker, but I’m not bothered by smoking.

Worse yet, what if you think an argument can be made for either side of an “Either/Or” question? I.e. Which makes for a better relationship? (Passion/Dedication)

Personally, I don’t think relationships can survive without both (so neither “makes for a better relationship” independent of the other). I can pick one if pressed (passion) but what am I supposed to mark for the ideal response?

Now call me a wording-Nazi, but if the phrasing of the question is super general I get skittish. I.e. When is suicide ok? (Always, In special cases such as to present suffering, Never)

Suicide is not something I’ve personally considered. Since I never presume to know what’s best for others, my inclination is to mark “Always”. However, since it’s not something that applies to me personally, what to I mark as the ideal mate response? Shouldn’t there be an, “I personally haven’t/wouldn’t consider it, but I believe it’s an individual choice” button?? Same with abortion questions. I’m 100% pro-choice based on the exact same reasoning.

I could go on and on about this topic, but you’re all probably yawning and want something juicy to snack on. While I work on that post, I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

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Under Construction

Since I've never really "blogged" before, I started using the journal for convenience. However, a great deal of things bug me about the way okcupid set up this feature. I don't need to get into the boring techy details here, but I've decided to try going in a new direction.

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I’m on ur cyte, pushin ur butinz.

So, I'm kind of swimming in messages right now. Since a lot of questions have been repetitive, I figured I'd start an FAQ of sorts.

-Are you really the chick in your pictures? Yes.

-Well what if you're lying? How can I be completely convinced that you're not some creepy old dude posing as a chick?? If you're that concerned, I suggest you sign offline, head to the nearest bar, and interrogate some strangers face-to-face.

-Will you please post more photos? Please? Please? Please?... Probs not. Why? Well, as a future attorney (and current "professional"), I'm not so comfortable with plastering tons of photos on a non-secure site. This... should be common sense people.

-OMG UR A HOO 2?? Negative. UVA is not my alma mater.

-Can I get your real name/address/number? Easy there quick draw. We're still strangers.

- So... what's the deal with stuffwhitepeoplelike? It's a humorous blog. Check it out. I'm not the author.

Did I miss anything? Post it in the comments.

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ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

I'm going to begin by thanking all of you that have been diligently stalking my profile since it appeared on March 29th. It means quite a lot that you made a stop here on your interweb rounds. To those that messaged, "woo"ed, or IM'd, I mostly applaud your efforts. Mostly.

Now, I realize this is not 'Nam. There are rules. I filled out most of the required profile information on my first evening as a member. I even put up a photograph the next day! When I added a couple lines to the “Self-Summary” section, I felt that I had finally met the expectations of the okcupid community and was ready to interact. Silly me!

Unwritten Rule #1: If you’re going to post a photo, you are obligated to post several.

When my inbox began to fill up with messages and notices, it wasn’t long before my faux-pas was brought to my attention. One photo simply doesn’t cut it. The people demand more. And after a combination both of subtle and downright persistent nudging, I’ve complied with the popular opinion.

Now that’s done, I’d like to share my favorite reason given for the importance of additional pictures:

From [Redacted]
To Dionysienne
Date Today - 2:46am
Subject It's fascinating that

your profile actually got nothing except for your ONE picture.

While the girl in the picture is fairly attractive, albert looks a little evil, it could still be a fake pic as well.

This isn’t just a request for personal satisfaction, but a fraud deterrent. I hope I’ve now, definitely, allayed any such suspicions. The internet can indeed be a scary place. Be careful out there.

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